As I wake up feeling refreshed, on this beautiful morning to birds singing, there is an odd yet familiar notion of being haunted. “Ah yes,” the ghost of a strenuous past begins to seep in. Why is it so difficult to let go of the things we love that are not serving us well, or even at all?
Without getting into too much detail, I have been dealing with something that was probably one of the most profound experiences that ever happened in my life thus far, yet it turned into something that was causing much grief and heartache. Yes, it has to do with love. What else in this world can drive us so crazy? When love was flowing, it was incredible. I saw the world with new eyes. Colours were more vibrant, sounds more vivid, but when it became cold and distant, it was extremely hard to accept. I think what hurt the most was the recognition that it likely was not as real for the other and that I left myself too open and vulnerable. But is there any other way to truly love?
As human beings we have been given the gift of “connection”. We tend to grow and heal easier through leaning on others, and there is definitely something about “strength in numbers”. But when does connection become attachment? I had to figure out how to detach.
In the past, it has always been very easy for me to let relationships, whether it is friendship or love, go. Like turning a light switch on and off. But not this time. Everyday I would say this is the day that it will leave me, but it never did. I was beginning to think I would need to see an exorcist to remove this entity that was still plaguing me! Then it came to me, no, this one you cannot just switch off, you are going to have to accept that it is, yet is not, and live with that. You will carry this with you, but what you choose to do with it depends on you.
While temporarily removing some distractions for alone time, I made a conscious decision to let this love, one of the strongest connections I had experienced, go. Although it lingers, there is no heartache with it anymore. It is a reminder that magical things do exist, if only for a moment. Now I could embrace love in all its true beauty. Love is freedom. It is boundless. This experience has become a blessing and a marker of what to look forward to. I didn’t have to switch it off like it never existed, but I was able to live with it and let it go by going through these steps:
This is the most important step in the art of letting go. You have to, no, you must accept that what was, is no more there. Whatever lesson it is to teach you, it has been shared. Now, it is time to move on. Without true acceptance, you will remain stuck. This is the hardest, yet the most freeing idea.
Be thankful it happened
Many people go through life never experiencing a love this profound and you were fortunate enough the Universe exposed you to such beauty. If the Universe exposed it to you in the first place, then it is possibly preparing you for something even greater.
Let it go. Release it
Keep the lessons learned from this experience, they came to you in service to help you grow and become stronger for when this comes around again, you are more prepared to handle it and navigate more fluidly through it.
Open up to new beginnings
Get out more often and create new adventures. When we tend to hold on to the past, we shut the door to anything new that may be on the horizon. If you’re not ready for that then at least keep a window open. As Rumi once said, “Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form”
Change is the one thing that is guaranteed and we have been blessed with the ability to choose how we experience it. We can choose to view change positively or negatively. The choice of suffering belongs to you. Change will happen regardless.
By making the choice to live in the eternal moment of NOW and to let go of the past, change becomes your friend. You will be aware of the beauty that is unfolding right in this moment and it is a wondrous place to be. Give up the ghost, and let the past haunt – well – the past.
©2015 Annie Violet